Elon Musk to Rename Twitter to “Dogger”

In an atypical move for the quiet, reserved, aspiring trillionaire, Elon Musk, makes a bizarre move to rename his recent Social Media Purchase ‘Twitter’ to ‘Dogger’.

The new name is derived from a popular “joke cryptocurrency” spawned from Bitcoin, called ‘Doge’. To better fit the new name, ‘Tweets’ will also be renamed to ‘Barks’.

More sweeping changes are slated for the platform as well, such as the new “report to charge” system. With the new system, any user who reports a suspected bot or spam account will receive a free 5-minute charge at any Tesla SuperCharger station. Elon is also giving every user who agrees to send him “useful money” a blue participation trophy in hopes that it will help offset any legal fees needed for future SEC court cases.

When asked about the decision to change the name, Elon stated “That SNL thing made me a lot of money, but I really want to get a trillion dollars before Jeff “Bozo” does, and the whole car thing is just getting to be too much work. So, I figured why not make a bunch of hype online and just sell that useless internet money back to the losers in their mom’s basement”

After the announcement, Twitter stock (TWTR) Quadrupled, and Elon has received over 100 Reddit Gold on his announcement post. The Hashtag #dogetomars has also broken the record for the most used Hashtag on the platform Dogger.