Donald Trump Announces Entry into Race
Recently Donald Trump has made an announcement concerning his interest in running a race once again. The announcement comes as the midterm elections wrap up in the United States. The former President made the announcement concerning his latest run from his Mar-a-Lago club in Palm Beach.
“I just got done with my morning run. It was a huge one. Longer than anyone else could run. I’m going to be doing more running soon.” Stated Trump in the latest short video post.
The Race is to be held in late 2024. “This gives the former, future President time to train. After he voluntarily decided to take four years off, he is going to have to train hard to get back into running shape. We are going to make sure we get him there” States the head of the former Presidents fitness staff. “The man is already in great shape, he could definitely outrun anyone else his age already, we just need to make sure he can last the entire race.”
“This race is gonna be huge” Stated the former President. “No one will be able to outrun me, not even Mr. Bolt. Biden doesn’t stand a chance, he can hardly walk up a few stairs, how is he going to pass me in a race? Don’t let the media fool you with fake news, I might be 76 but I can run like The Flash. My fitness team has been working around the clock to help me get a competitive edge”
When questioned on how the former President expects to win the race, he stated “I’ve got the best running shoes. I mean these things will really give you speed. It’s like running on a cloud. The best. I’m telling you. A 5k is going to be a breeze in these things. I’ll bet I could do a 10k. I could do a marathon, anyone who says anything different is wrong and a loser. I’ll bet Hillary couldn’t run nearly as far as I could in these magnificent shoes.”
As an independent satire news organization, we wish all candidates luck on the upcoming 5K foot race.